My daughter Ara was born a week after the New Moon and Solar Eclipse in Scorpio in 2022, and this year, that same New Moon falls just after her birthday on October 31st. With a strong druidic ancestry, it’s no wonder she entered and departed the world through the Samhain portal—a season when the veil is thin, inviting us to honor our ancestors.
Samhain is not just a time of remembrance; it is a powerful opportunity to connect with the otherworld and celebrate life and death in equal measure. Historically, the origins of dressing up stemmed from the belief that disguises could confuse the ghosts and spirits wandering the earth, sparing us another year of life. This blending of fear and festivity has evolved into the Halloween we know today, but its roots remind us of the delicate balance between this world and the next.
While other mothers dress their babies in costumes for Halloween, I create an altar to honor the memory of my daughter’s spirit. I invite other bereaved mothers to join me in this sacred act of remembrance. In this space, we can find solace, connection, and a way to share our grief.
To begin, gather pictures of your baby and other loved ones who have passed. Find a shelf or a special place in your home to create a dedicated space for these memories. You can include symbolic items that remind you of your loved ones; for instance, I place my Daughter’s ashes, my Dad’s dog tags and my Nannie’s rosary beads on my altar, each carrying the weight of love and legacy.
Traditionally, marigolds adorn Samhain and Día de los Muertos altars (ofrendas). These vibrant flowers serve as a bridge between the two realms, helping to welcome and honor the spirits during these celebrations. Their bright hues remind us of the joy of life, even in the face of loss.
Make offerings to your baby and ancestors—what were their favorite foods or drinks? Create a plate and place it on the altar to nourish their spirits. This year, I will be putting out some milk for my daughter and pomegranate juice, which connects to Persephone, the goddess of the underworld. These offerings become a way to foster connection, an act of love that transcends time and space.
Additionally, I will place tobacco on my altar. This sacred plant is often used in many cultures as an offering, symbolizing respect and gratitude. It creates a space of reverence, reminding us that our connections with those we have lost endure beyond their physical presence.
May the candle you light for them tonight burn bright and bring warmth into your hearth.
Aloha, Mamaste.